As a mother and an entrepreneur, my mind fills with worry. This is a story about a structured story technique I use to manage worry.
It didn’t used to worry like this.
I remember that in my 20s I was much more carefree.
As a mother and an entrepreneur, my mind fills with worry. This is a story about a structured story technique I use to manage worry.
It didn’t used to worry like this.
I remember that in my 20s I was much more carefree.
The Worry Module
At around age 35, the brain added a worry module. Now scenarios of possible car accidents run vividly through my head. But the worry module is really an outcome prediction module. At the same time it freaks me out with possible car crashes, it also predicts that the red car has a crazy driver in it. And I better change lanes before it gets into my blind spot.
The worry module was right.
I feel like a shaman sometimes.
The rest of the time though, I feel like a worry-wort. 😱
But it’s all storytelling, right?
It’s just my brain telling me stories. I can choose to believe or not.
One of my favorite quotes is:
“Universe, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference.”
If you’ve ever done risk management work, you’ll recognize that this as classic scenario planning. It’s playing out the stories that you come up with, deciding the outcome and reactions, so you can finally stop worrying.
I decided to try a simplified, storytelling version that takes 1/100th the time to do, so I can apply it to my personal life. This is what I did.
Storytelling to Bust your Worries
Six months ago, I was packing for a 5 month trip with my kid. I’m stressed out. My to-do list is a mile long.
On top of that I need to do covid testing before I fly out. If I’m positive, then I have to change all my plans. I’m worried about forgetting to pack something. I’m worried about the flight being delayed. I’m worried that if I test positive then the plan falls apart.
Once the worry gate is open, all the worries pour in. They pour in indiscriminately, without worrying about whether they are things I can change or not.
Sort the Worries
The first thing I do is sort the worries.
I’m worried about forgetting to pack something. YES. I can change this.
I’m worried about the flight being delayed. NO. I cannot change this.
I’m worried that if I test positive then the plan falls apart. YES and NO.
Work on what you can change
Once I sort the list, I take everything that I can change, and I make a plan.
1. I’m worried about forgetting to pack something.
Can i change this? YES. I can change this by using a packing list.
Work on what you cannot change
Then I take everything that I cannot change, and I do the storytelling.
2. I’m worried about the flight being delayed.
Can I change this? NO. I cannot change this. So I do the storytelling. Let’s assume the flight is delayed.
What can happen?
Likely, I’m booked on a later flight. Then I pick up my rental car later. At worst I lose one or two nights of paid hotel stays. OK, it’s not great, but I can be at peace with this outcome.
There is a 1% chance the flight is completely cancelled and I cannot be booked on another flight for at least a week. In that case I cancel the hotel nights and limit my losses. I know I will feel disappointed but that cannot be helped.
3. I’m worried that if I test positive then the plan falls apart.
Can I change this? YES and NO.
This is a severe fail. It can delay my trip by 2-3 weeks.
There are things I can do to lower risk, but I cannot control the Covid test outcome.
So I do the part of YES I can change. I can lower my exposure risk in the two weeks before the flight. I limit activities like eating at restaurants indoors. This improves the odds of testing negative.
Storytelling for what you cannot change
Then I do the storytelling about the NO part that I cannot change. If I test positive then I have to delay my flight by 7 days. Recover, then re-test and see if I can fly out then. It’ll be a roughly 2-week delay in the trip. I’ll have to cancel a talk I’m giving. And I’ll probably feel bad about that. But the organizers can’t be too angry because this is not in my control.
With this storytelling tool, I’m able to address my worries. Yes it takes a bit of time, but 30 min - 1 hour to scenario plan takes away weeks of worry. It’s worth it.
Tomorrow’s another day
But when it gets too overwhelming, remember that tomorrow’s another day and learn to trust your future self to handle tomorrow’s challenges.
Remember:
“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its troubles it empties today of its strengths.”
That’s why:
“To change your life, learn how to trust your future self.”
How do you build Habits that Stick?
Aristotle once said, “We are the sum of our actions, and therefore our habits make all the difference.”
I want to build habits that stick.
I want to meditate more, exercise more and eat better.
So I downloaded a meditation app, joined a gym and cleared my fridge.
Product storytelling is complex. A product manager that starts with a simple product and a simple story is quickly surprised at how complex the product story can get as time goes on. Use Kwan's Product Storytelling Framework for B2B vs B2C to manage your product as it evolves.
Influence without authority is the skill that turns a good product manager into a great product manager. Learning this skill is necessary to set you apart.
Made with Bullet